Sex on a Cruise Ship: What to Know Before you Get Down

We’ll flat out say it — there is something about cruising that puts people in the mood.

First off, it’s a vacation and people usually set aside their inhibitions for a while as they relax and forget about home. Second, most cruises are headed to warm, tropical locations. That means fewer and skimpier clothes, which always helps. Finally, the alcohol flows freely while on the ship, which helps spark the fire.

That’s not to say that a cruise ship turns into a Hedonistic paradise (there are plenty of families around, after all). However, it’s a poorly-kept secret that passengers love to embark on lots of hanky-panky when on a cruise.

With this mind, we have a few things to keep in mind for the next time you have sex on a cruise ship:

Timing is important

Most of the time you can get a little nooky in your cabin without interruptions, but not always. On the first day (usually right before the ship departs) you will have a muster drill, which requires ALL passengers to head to their muster station. So if you are thinking of getting started early with your significant other, we’d suggest holding off until after the muster drill.

Beyond that, you will usually be undisturbed, except for housekeeping. Yes, you can put a “Do not Disturb” tag in your door lock, but that just means housekeeping won’t try to clean your specific cabin. They will still be in the area and you will be able to hear them going about their work. If you are the type that is easily distracted, we suggest figuring out what time of day housekeeping comes and finding something else to do during that time.

Keep it quiet

As we just mentioned, you can usually hear people outside your door while you are in your cabin. Keep in mind that sounds move both ways. While we know that not everyone can help but being a little louder during sex, you have to remember that you are in a small, confined space with lots of people around. Not everyone wants to hear what you do in the privacy of your cabin (especially if it happens late at night). Keeping things a little quiet can make sure that your romance doesn’t mess with anyone else’s vacation.

Like sex with a view? You’re in luck

Some people get a thrill out of being a little more “open” with their sexual encounters. Cruises are a good place to experience that. With balconies or windows in a majority of cabins, feel free to open those curtains and take in the nice view while you go to town. Unless you are docked in a busy port, no one should be able to see you. It’s a fun way to spice up an otherwise normal session.

That’s not to say that you should go at it on the balcony. Usually your neighbors can see into their adjoining balconies as the dividers between them don’t go floor to ceiling. So unless you like Aunt Maude and Uncle Bill from Topeka, Kansas getting an eyeful, keep it off the balcony.

Keep it in the cabin

That brings us to our next point: keep your sex in the cabin. It’s inviting to try to get it on around the ship. After all, there are so many great, out of the way places. What you should keep in mind, however, is that there are cameras everywhere on the ship and you never know who might accidentally walk in on your fun — that includes kids! We don’t know the penalties for being caught in the act on a cruise ship, and we don’t want to find out. For the respect of everyone on board, keep the fun in the cabin.

Don’t expect to do the crew

If you’re a single cruiser, you might think that the cute bartender or waiter could be interested in meeting up after hours. Forget it. There are explicit rules barring cruise staff from hooking up with passengers. It’s a good way for them to possibly lose their job. Don’t worry, though. Most cruises hold “Singles Nights” on the ship if you’re looking for someone’s company during the cruise.

Have more advice or stories on how to “do things right” on the ship? Let us know in the comments below.

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