To say there are misconceptions in cruising would be an understatement. There are certain images of life on a cruise that many people have that just aren’t true. Whether they come from hearsay, cruise advertisements, or even what’s seen in movies or television, there are countless “lies” or myths about cruising that don’t hold water.
Now, I’m pulling the curtain back to let you know what’s real — and what’s not — when it comes to cruising.
The “Empty Ship” in Marketing Material
Now, let’s be clear that any marketing is going to paint a product or service in the absolute best light. It would be malpractice to do otherwise. But there’s one thing that I think is also a bit disingenuous from the cruise lines.
Go to any cruise website or look at any flyer or watch a commercial on TV and you’ll see people having fun. What you don’t see? How about literally thousands of other people?
Yes, there are places to get away from crowds on a cruise, but the reality is that most places you go are going to have tons of other passengers around. Will you have fun? Absolutely, just don’t think that you’re going to have the run of the ship with no one else around.
Elegant Dining? Not So Much
Step inside the main dining room and you’ll be greeted by an amazing space that’s often two stories with white tablecloths and just screams fine dining.
In fact, if you look online, you’ll often see people talking about how amazing and wonderful and luxurious the entire dining room experience is.
My take is that’s a bit of a myth. I’ll fully admit the atmosphere is wonderful but what you’re actually there for — the food — is wildly hit and miss. I’ve had dishes in the dining room that are wonderful. But I’ve also had dishes that completely miss the mark. And this is across cruise lines and has happened enough times to know that it’s not simply a bad night for the kitchen.
It’s not inedible or anything, but the fine-dining atmosphere is typically a step above the actual food quality.
Exotic Ports That Aren’t So Exotic
If someone told you that they were visiting the Yucatan or Grand Turk or Nassau, the image you get is of some exotic island that’s completely different from anything back home.
The reality is — at least in the Caribbean — these days you have to hunt a little harder for the exotic. It’s certainly still there, but the commercialization and catering to American tastes is harder to avoid, especially right at the port.
English? Everyone’s going to speak it. U.S. Dollars are widely accepted. And the port areas seem designed more to appeal to American tastes than the local culture. Now, get out of the port a bit and you start to see the real culture. But there’s nothing exactly exotic about visiting a port with a Starbucks in it.
The Ship as a “Petri Dish”
I’m not going to argue that illness can’t spread on a ship. Any time you get lots of people in close quarters, sickness can spread. It doesn’t matter if it’s a cruise ship or a building. But everyone has heard cruise ships described as petri dishes.
The image that some people seem to have is of thousands of people all coughing on each other or scratching their butts and then grabbing food off the buffet. It’s not like that at all.
I’d argue there is more cleaning on a cruise ship than any other non-medical building anywhere. With so many people in close spaces, cruise lines go out of their way to keep ships as clean as possible. Just walk around and you’ll no doubt see crew cleaning. And if you go to get something to eat, you’ll have handwashing stations with an attendant telling you to clean your hands.
You don’t see that anywhere else.
Cruises Are for the “Newlywed & Nearly Dead”
When I was younger, cruising was never on my radar. That was something old people did. I didn’t take my first cruise until my wife and I got a Royal Caribbean gift certificate for a wedding gift.
I expected it to be filled with folks in their 70s, which wasn’t the case at all. Of course we had a blast, and now I’ve taken more than 30 cruises. It wasn’t until later that I heard the saying that cruising is for the “newlywed and barely dead.”
Well, maybe that was the case 30 years ago, but it’s certainly not true today. Step on a cruise ship and you’ll see young, old, and every age in between. You’ll see black, white, purple, green. You’ll see people there for honeymoons, birthdays, anniversaries and bachelorette parties.
To this day I’m still surprised at just how popular cruising is across every demographic you can imagine.
Everything Is Included on the Cruise
To this day one myth that seems to still endure is that you buy your cruise fare and everything for the trip is included. That’s not the case.
Cruises are a sort of hybrid. They aren’t all-inclusive, but they aren’t where everything is an extra charge. Frankly, it’s confusing if you’re a first-timer.
With your fare, you get your room, entertainment on the ship, and some restaurants. Specialty restaurants, most drinks, shore excursions, and wi-fi? All extra. Then there are gratuities and gambling costs as well.
I’ve run the numbers and the cruise lines report that the onboard revenue is roughly 45-55% of the ticket revenue. So if you spend $1,000 in cruise fare, you can expect to spend about $500 on other things once on the ship, on average.
Cruises Are Kitschy and Filled With Conga Lines
There is definitely a streak of people that seem to have convinced themselves that every cruise is nothing but kitschy atmosphere full of conga lines and people eating too much at the buffet.
I’m not going to lie, if you want to find this sort of vibe, it’s certainly around. You can always find karaoke on most ships, line dancing by the pool during sailaway, and yes, even conga lines.
But cruising is way more than that. It can be as luxurious as you want it to be. There are lines that cater to the more upscale and you can find cabins that rival the fanciest places on land. The entertainment and the service are top notch, and while you’ll find fun here, it’s definitely a different and more upscale atmosphere.
In fact, with all the cruise lines now sailing, there’s a target audience for each one. So whether you want kitschy or you want high-end, you can get it.
Even 30 years ago, it wasn’t just newlyweds and old people. My first cruise was way back in 1993 on the original Mardi Gras. I was 18 years old and on my senior class trip, so there were a lot of teens on that cruise.