Tips about choosing the right line, what to pack, and what to do in port? Helpful, sure, but you’ve heard it all before.
What about the weird truth about romance on a cruise, some of the best deals you never hear about, and how to get a ‘free’ cruise from the casino that most people would never realize?
These are anything but the regular tips you hear. They are weird, rarely talked about, and extremely useful for your next cruise…
Wet Wipes Are a Must Have
Want to get weird? Let’s start with the toilet. Or more specifically, the toilet paper and your backside. I’m going to be real, the toilet paper on the cruise ship is terrible.
It’s thin, one-ply stuff that’s made to easily break apart in the ship’s systems. But it’s not made to get you feeling clean. So it’s a weird tip for a stranger on the internet to share with you, but for your bum’s sake… bring some wet wipes with you. With these you can actually wipe and feel fresh instead of just scratching things up down there.
One important thing to note is that you can’t flush the wipes down the commode. Even if you bring the ones that advertise themselves as flushable, don’t do it. Wipes are notorious for blocking plumbing systems. If you flush it and it causes issues, you can be fined.
Instead, you can place them in the trash in the bathroom.
Gambling Goes Way Beyond the Casino
If you’ve ever cruise before, then you know the casino is a big deal on any cruise ship. But one weird thing you might not realize is how pervasive the wagering while on a cruise is and it’s spreading far beyond the casino floor.
Let’s start with sports betting. Some cruise lines offer sports betting terminals in the casino and there have even been some lines that allow sports betting on your phone on the ship.
But beyond that, there are wagering games available during the cruise that you might not think of as gambling, but they essentially are. Bingo is hugely popular on cruises and you can potentially play for thousands of dollars. And then you have games like Deal or No Deal where you buy a card to play along and potentially win money. Wheel of Fortune is offered on some ships and has a similar “pay to play” format.
When you look at it this way, it’s wild how much wagering is happening around the ship each day.
How to Get The Same Trip for 30% Off
You know those internet ads that talk about “one weird trick”? They’ve become a meme at this point, and if I had to come up with “one weird trick” to save money on a cruise it would be that you can get the same cruise for 30%-50% of the cost… if you just sail at a different time.
I know not everyone’s schedule is flexible, but it’s wild how much cruise prices change just based on when you sail for the exact same cruise on the exact same ship.
Take a 7-day cruise aboard Royal Caribbean’s Star of the Seas. Sail in the height of the season — July 2027 — and prices start at $2,170 per person.
Just two months later in September 2027 that same exact cruise is $1,440 per person. That’s a savings of $730 per person, or about one-third off just for sailing two months later.
So if you can, try to move those sail dates to see if you can save.
The 411 About Hooking Up on a Cruise
One weird tip you don’t hear anywhere else has to do with hooking up on a cruise. Now, we’re all adults here so I think I can be frank when it comes to this.
First, most people are going to be traveling as part of a couple, so if you’re single, the waters aren’t going to be as rich as you might think given there are thousands of people on the ship.
Of course, just because someone is part of a couple doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. Most people are aware of the “pineapple” icon that’s a symbol for couples interested in having fun.
As well, there are always single and solo traveler meetups on the ship, just look for them in the daily planner. Here you can potentially meet other singles on the ship, which could help your odds of hooking up.
One thing to keep in mind if you do decide to hook up… no matter how big the ship, it’s still small. If you get together with someone that you’d rather not see again, then you’re going to be looking over your shoulder the rest of the vacation.
Skip the Steakhouse. Do This Instead
These days you can get steak any night included in the dining room, but honestly, it’s a pretty crummy cut of meat. If you want a good steak, you’ve got to head to the ship’s steakhouse.
But that means ponying up more cash. The ship’s steakhouse is usually the most expensive place to eat and you can expect to spend a minimum of $50 per person. But if you’re smart, you can get the same quality for much cheaper.
Cruise lines now put steaks and lobster and other entrees from the steakhouse on the main dining room menu. There’s an upcharge, but it’s about half the cost of what it is to eat a meal in the steakhouse. Meanwhile, you don’t have to deal with reservations or getting dressed up to eat in the steakhouse.
For smart cruisers, it’s a easy way to get a great meal for way less.
The Best Spa Deal You’ll Find
Now, I’ve never gotten a massage on a cruise. To me, for $150 plus gratuity it’s too expensive for a service that lasts an hour. But what isn’t heavily advertised is a thermal pass. And after buying one of these, I’m hooked. I think it’s weird the more people aren’t taking advantage of this.
A thermal pass gets you access to the ship’s spa. It comes with hot tubs, heated loungers, saunas, rainfall showers, and way more. And with a day pass, you get to hang out here as long as you want. Best of all, the passes are about $40-$50 for a day. To me, that’s an absolute steal.
There are plenty of people that know about the passes, so days at sea can get busy. But you rarely see it listed as an item on the spa menu, and you might have to ask. To me, it’s one of the best deals on the ship.
How to Get the Drink Package for Cheap
For some people, the drink package is part of the entire reason for taking a cruise. What you don’t hear much about is how to get the best deal on the package.
The simple tip is to buy before you cruise. There are always discounts, which is no secret. But it’s still in the $70-$90 per range per person, per day.
But the cheapest packages you’ll find are usually part of bigger offers. NCL has the Free at Sea that includes the drink package… and while it’s not free, it’s less than $30 per day. Princess has a similar offer with its Princess Plus deal that includes a drink package, tips, wi-fi, and more for $65 per day. Back out the other items from the cost and the drink package is dirt cheap.
If you’re sailing Royal Caribbean, then my best advice is to keep checking back in the planner. They like to move the prices around, and you can buy, refund it, and then buy again if the price falls. It seems that Black Friday they especially like to put out some good deals.
Where to Get the Most Bang for Your Buck in the Casino
Let’s talk a bit about gambling and the weird game that I think can give you the most play for your money. Note that I didn’t say you’d win, only that you can get a lot of play out of it.
The coin pusher machines are one of my favorites. You normally don’t see them in regular casinos, only on cruises. You put a coin in and then it pushes lower coins — or bills — over the edge as winnings.
Now you should know that the strategy I use is to focus on the edges of these machines. When you play in the middle, there’s more room for coins to push on either side. On the edges, the coins are forced more over the front lip. You just want to be sure that the machine you’re playing doesn’t have a secret slot on the edge — many machines do — where coins can fall and don’t go over the lip into your pocket.
I’ve found that if you play the right machine and stick to the edges, your money lasts a long time. On a recent NCL cruise I actually came out ahead thanks to bills that I won. On a Royal Caribbean trip I didn’t come out ahead, but my $20 lasted about half an hour, which is an eternity on a cruise.
What to Know About ‘Smuggling’ Items On/Off a Cruise
One thing that most cruise tips don’t mention is anything about bringing things onboard — or taking things off — that you shouldn’t. I’m not going to tell you how to do it. But I can give some tips on what to expect.
First, everything you bring on will be x-rayed, so be aware of that. And when it comes to bringing on alcohol, there’s not a trick in the book that the security staff hasn’t seen, no matter how clever you think they are.
Does that mean it’s impossible? No, but if you think you’re being clever by using that fake shampoo bottle, think again.
For other substances, know that at least Carnival is cracking down with drug dogs at check-in, though I haven’t seen it for other lines.
And when it comes to other ports, there are often agricultural dogs there searching, not for drugs but fruits and vegetables. Be mindful when you think about taking that banana into port as a snack.
Dirty Cabins Are a Real Thing
One weird thing you don’t hear very often is that cruise ship cabins can be a bit dirty. Now public places, I’m amazed at the cleaning that’s constantly going on. They seem spotless.
The cabins — especially on older ships — often need some TLC. So one tip is that same wet wipes that you brought for the bathroom? They are also a great thing to have for cleaning up dirty spots around the cabin.
You might be thinking why should you have to clean your own room? That’s not wrong, but honestly, it’s much less of a hassle to just get out some wipes and clean up dirty spots if they bother you.
The physical wear and tear? You can’t do anything about that. It comes with the territory of sailing an older ship.
How Much You Have to Play for a Comped Casino Cruise
I think there is a lot of interest in is getting to cruise for ‘free’ via the ship’s casino. All the lines have perks you can earn through your play, including free cruises, with the intent that you’ll keep gambling.
So how much do you have to play?
Royal Caribbean is a good example. You earn an annual cruise with their Club Royale program in an interior room starting with their Prime tier, which takes 2,500 credits. At that level you also earn complimentary drinks in the casino.
Here, you earn one point for every $5 played in slots and 10 points for a $10 average wager for an hour in table games. That means if you’re playing slots you need to play through $12,500. Of course, you also have the money you win that’s then replayed through the machine.
It will vary, but on a slot machine with 90% payback, that means you’d have to pony up somewhere around $1,250 to earn that free cruise. (You can see a deeper dive into how much it takes to earn a casino cruise here.)
